The usual definition of “turkey” is a fowl eaten on Thanksgiving Day. However there’s one other, slang, definition: In AI converse, a turkey “can imply an individual or factor that could be a failure, incompetent, or a dud.” Shut sufficient for functions of reviewing a number of the most outrageous fake pas in our career this yr. There are such a lot of that it’s tough to decide on. However let’s begin with a number of judicial turkeys.
A choose of the Missouri St. Charles Circuit Courtroom liked Elvis a lot that he wore an Elvis wig and performed his music throughout courtroom proceedings. (I’m not making this up.) He additionally mentioned politics whereas on the bench. The Missouri Judicial Fee didn’t take kindly to the judge’s antics. In order that they lower a take care of the choose: six months unpaid suspension, after which he would return to the bench for an additional 18 months after which resign with the understanding that his judicial profession would then be over completely.
In the meantime, in Alabama, for a longtime Lauderdale County circuit choose, it’s not turkey however a long stretch in the pokey awaiting him when sentenced later this month. A jury convicted him on 17 counts, together with, however not restricted to, utilizing his workplace for private achieve, mendacity to a grand jury, and mendacity to state auditors taking a look at why there was virtually $150,000 that couldn’t be accounted for in two accounts that the choose oversaw. Funds have been used for holidays, private bills, and to cowl overdrafts in his private checking account. The choose blamed “sloppy bookkeeping” throughout COVID-19. Puhleeze.
All however one of many convictions are felonies and carry numerous sentences from two to twenty years. Do they serve turkey within the pokey or solely crow?
How can judicial officers be such turkeys as to trash their careers? Lack of judgment maybe? (Pun intentional.)
I’d be remiss if I didn’t embody some legal professionals competing for the turkey award.
We’re nonetheless in Alabama, however this time it’s about an Alabama lawyer who has been accused of attempting to kill her husband with fentanyl, not as soon as however three separate occasions. The husband is alive, however the lawyer has been charged with tried homicide and different prices. Married to a former Auburn soccer participant for greater than 30 years, the lawyer, Sara Baker, has been her husband’s caretaker since he suffered a stroke a number of years in the past. Even when pushed to distraction and past, trying to murder him and almost succeeding, her actions don’t look good for her wedding ceremony vows “until loss of life do us half” nor the lawyer oath she took. Baker was clearly attempting to advance her partner’s date of loss of life on her calendar.
What number of hallucination circumstances can we absorb one yr? These attorneys are additionally operating within the turkey trot. The flock of hallucinating attorneys (and even some judges) continues to develop. In each case, there have been honest, remorseful apologies, guarantees to by no means do it once more, to take no matter remedial steps have been already taken and might be taken. Yada, yada.
Vigilantes had their place within the Outdated West, and they’re now reborn. Again then, they have been generally crusaders for justice, relying the way you outlined “justice.” These twenty first century vigilantes are legal professionals, they don’t carry sidearms, they usually don’t have anything to do with horse stealing or horse buying and selling. These vigilantes deal with horse shit, aka hallucinations in briefs. Their weapons are phrases, not weapons.
The legal professionals monitor down AI snafus in courtroom filings. They acquire essentially the most outrageous examples and put up them on-line, hoping to disgrace the offending lawyer(s) and scale back what’s now referred to as “AI Slop.” Basically, they’re attempting to place a cease to that slop. An lawyer in France has created a database of circumstances during which AI hallucinations have appeared. It lists greater than 600 circumstances as of mid-September 2025. The database consists of the character of the hallucination, the result and sanctions, and any financial penalty. Take a looksee in case you’re curious.
If public shaming doesn’t work, ought to punishment return to the medieval shares? And no, I’m not that previous, however one thing needs to be performed to stop attorneys (and judges) from operating afowl [sic] of correct process. How exhausting can that be?
Jill Switzer has been an lively member of the State Bar of California for over 40 years. She remembers practising legislation in a kinder, gentler time. She’s had a various authorized profession, together with stints as a deputy district lawyer, a solo apply, and a number of other senior in-house gigs. She now mediates full-time, which provides her the chance to see dinosaurs, millennials, and people in-between work together — it’s not all the time civil. You may attain her by electronic mail at [email protected].
