FBI Director Kash Patel took a break from his busy schedule of hanging out in Las Vegas as an alternative of really operating the FBI, to go on Fox Information final night time to rant a bit about James Comey. After Comey posted his beachside “8647” insta, Patel shortly took to social media — the place all skilled regulation enforcement vents about its investigation priorities — to faux that “86,” a century outdated time period for bouncing unruly clients or canceling meals orders, really amounted to an assassination menace directed at Donald Trump.
This was, to make use of the technical time period, fucking silly. Although in opposition to all odds, it was not almost as silly as Patel’s subsequent transfer. Per the Day by day Beast:
“Are you aware what number of copycats we’ve needed to examine because of that beachside enterprise from a former director?” he requested Baier. “Are you aware what number of brokers I’ve needed to take offline from chasing down little one intercourse predators, fentanyl traffickers, terrorists?”
Hopefully some profession regulation enforcement skilled throughout the FBI intervened to verify the reply to each questions is near zero.
To begin with, since threats to the president are the jurisdiction of the Secret Service — one thing Patel publicly acknowledged on the time — why the hell is he pulling brokers off ANYTHING to run down a soccer mother who took an image of her bottomless mimosa brunch invoice having tipped to verify the full was 8647?
Additionally, assuming arguendo that he had a single fucking motive to assign any brokers in any respect to those investigations, the FBI has so, so, so many extra brokers to attract from. The administration has already stopped prosecuting foreign bribery cases… use these of us!!! There’s a bevy of economic crimes that the FBI investigates that may inevitably be dropped as soon as the goal buys $200 million in TRUMP coin. Inform Fox Mulder to drop the Sasquatch investigation for per week to ship on this in some way much less plausible snipe hunt.
And since Patel is so out of contact with basic slang that he doesn’t perceive “86,” we’ll clarify right here {that a} snipe hunt is the place you process somebody to spend an inordinate period of time chasing nothing.
Whereas we’re with reference to reassigning brokers from different priorities, his deputy spent yesterday explaining that the FBI goes to spend a bunch of sources chasing down COVID conspiracies. Good to know that whereas little one intercourse predators and terrorists might not be as vital as Comey’s instagram, however the Bureau remains to be laser-focused on COVID conspiracy theories.
Lastly, even when he did have a motive to assign sources to this tripe and the brokers he pulled off different chores couldn’t be restricted to monetary probes, the Director of the FBI ought to completely positively by no means be TELLING CRIMINALS HOW HE’S ALLOCATING RESOURCES.
Which is, actually, essentially the most galling a part of this. I’m deeply skeptical that the FBI really compromised a lot of its mission to pursue this nonsense. However the Director is happening TV broadcasting that he’s prepared to sideline little one abusers and terrorists over individuals mocking Trump on-line. And even when that’s all puffery, it’s nonetheless a giant deal as a result of the Director of the FBI shouldn’t be going round telling everybody that the FBI is a zero-sum group incapable of chasing down a terrorist any time somebody posts one thing questionable about Trump… which, once more, is the Secret Service’s job anyway. Patel may’ve simply mentioned, “we investigated copycats” with out suggesting that Fb jokes have pushed the FBI to its restrict. Ideally, the Director of the FBI ought to be projecting to the world that they’re embedded in each Elf on the Shelf across the nation whether or not they’re or not.
He additionally not directly trashes the Secret Service on this, as a result of he’s implicitly saying that the Secret Service is just too understaffed to chase down the supposed threats, thus requiring the FBI to leap in.
However Patel isn’t a lot excited about telling criminals that the FBI is on to them, he needs to verify Trump hears that folks posting social media goofs about him are a better precedence than terrorists. As a result of normal order #1 on this administration is that Trump is extra vital than all the pieces else. That the Director of the FBI is prepared to undermine the mission of his personal company simply so he can inform his boss this by cable information doesn’t bode effectively.
Kash Patel Rages at James Comey Over Cryptic Trump Post [Daily Beast]
Earlier: James Comey Enjoys Long Walks On The Beach… So MAGA Gonna Send Him To El Salvador Prison Camp
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Legislation and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Be happy to email any suggestions, questions, or feedback. Observe him on Twitter or Bluesky if you happen to’re excited about regulation, politics, and a wholesome dose of faculty sports activities information. Joe additionally serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.
