Put together the world’s tiniest violin, my pals. At a current Catholic College Legislation College occasion, whereas sharing his ideas on life, the universe, and all the pieces along with his former clerk Jenn Mascott (at present nominated to the Third Circuit despite a complete lack of connections to the state of Delaware), Justice Clarence Thomas defined that he put the brakes on his George Washington Law teaching gig after Dobbs due to “unpleasantness.”
Oh no! The horror. Unpleasantness, you say?
What an absolute snowflake.
He didn’t wish to preserve instructing a category… the place he had all the ability, managed the syllabus, the grading, and the air con. A category populated by college students who, nearly actually, skewed principally his manner (who else is taking a Thomas class?). Come on, man! I do know you like hanging out with fawning admirers willing to pay for your luxury vacations, however if you happen to’re going to do that job, you’ve obtained to have the ability to deal with a pair side-eyes in a seminar room.
You recognize what’s disagreeable? Folks having pressured births as a result of a witchhunter from the 1600s mentioned so. It’s the identical factor with Amy Coney Barrett’s recent lament that her household pressured her to make some coherent authorized justification for her superlegislature cosplay to overturn longstanding Constitutional rights. Sorry gang, you don’t get to run away as a result of somebody factors out that your “deeply rooted in historical past and custom” arguments are about as historic because the Historical past Channel. And even Historic Aliens is better sourced than these Second Amendment opinions.
Actually, the Historic Aliens comparability is extra apropos than it might sound at first blush. You know the way each episode includes the identical rotating panel of speaking heads whether or not they’re explaining how Egyptians and Mesoamericans couldn’t presumably have independently provide you with the concept for a pyramid regardless of being essentially the most intuitive design conceivable or how angels seem like astronauts? That’s as a result of the conspiracy idea world is a giant circle jerk of pseudo-academics. Now, for a enjoyable experiment, try the “historical past” the conservative authorized motion cites of their opinions. Discover the way it’s principally secondary legislation assessment articles revealed by former clerks turned teachers slapping collectively shoddy, cherry-picked analysis to paper up the thesis that the Fourteenth Modification was a scrivener’s error? Thought laundering in motion, all to stop the judges from having to face behind the historical past immediately… it’s been vetted (by 3L legislation assessment editors, anyway)!
However that’s the factor. These individuals are simply too chickenshit to face behind their ideas within the face of obscure disdain. Through the civil rights period, judges confronted precise terroristic threats — the Chief Justice highlighted this in his annual report, before comparing those threats to being criticized by law bloggers — however stood by their selections. That’s not the place this motion is. They’ve obtained two modes: shocked pearl-clutching that anybody could be so impolitic to query their delicate genius and active troll. And each flavors relaxation on the cloistered, unaccountable perch they’ve normal for themselves to enact coverage from the bench nicely past something imagined by the Framers. The throughline of the conservative authorized motion is taking reckless, unaccountable fiat and equating it with jurisprudential bravery.
If it’s disagreeable to listen to a number of college students query your historic fan fiction, perhaps don’t reshape the lives of tens of millions primarily based on it.
Earlier: Clarence Thomas Quits Law School Class, Depriving Students Of BOTH Sides Of The ‘Do Gay People Have Human Rights?’ Debate
Amy Coney Barrett’s Fetish For Phony Reluctance
Chief Justice John Roberts Thinks You’re Stupid And He’s Probably Right
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Legislation and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Be at liberty to email any ideas, questions, or feedback. Comply with him on Twitter or Bluesky if you happen to’re occupied with legislation, politics, and a wholesome dose of faculty sports activities information. Joe additionally serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.
